Scared Silly
by litlhulc
Summary: This story was for a babecakesrus yahoo group prompt. Steph does some thinking and slinks into Rangers apartment late at night. Ranger gets silly.


I knew I was taking a chance by going into Rangers apartment in the middle of the night without asking him first. I was _dripping wet_ and was taking every _precaution_ I could to not ruin his wonderfully soft, probably very expensive, carpeting. I was _shivering_ and my teeth were trying to chatter from being cold and wet but I was trying very hard not to make a sound so as not to disturb Ranger if he was sleeping.

With tiny, quiet _footsteps_ I was _gliding_ through the apartment to get to his glorious, warm, shower. It was pitch black but I've been here so many times I think I could find my way by memory. Just as I was about to cross through the bedroom taking every _precaution_ to remain silent, a very _naked_ (and yummy) and somewhat scary Ranger shoved a gun in my face saying "Don't fucking move or you'll wish your death were quicker."

I was_ laboring to breathe _as I was scared out of my wits, not knowing if I should talk, cry, or faint. Flicking the light on, I could see the sinister look Ranger had on his face; the mercenary in him showing itself to the intruder. Unfortunately, the intruder was me, not a bad guy. If he didn't look so damn good right now I think I would have actually been scared longer.

"Babe"

"Ranger"

"Trying to get killed?"

"No, trying to get warm and dry"

"What happened to your place?"

"It was too far away"

"And where were you coming from?" he asks with a tilt up on the corners of his lips

"The park. I had some thinking to do and my thinking position wasn't working out too well tonight."

"You okay? Anything you want to talk about"

"I don't know"

"You know I'm good in the shower…I can _persuade_ you to confide in me you know"

"I don't doubt you for a minute, tough guy!"

"Tough guy, huh?"

And before I knew it I was _face down_ on the bed, with a very naked ranger straddling me and tickling me with his big bad self.

"Okay okay please just stop tickling me..Please..I'll tell you!"

I proceeded to get up and head towards the bathroom to start the shower. Not letting me out of his site, Ranger follows me helping me to take off my wet clothes and get me into his warm shower.

"It's complicated"

"Why is it complicated?"

"Because it has to do with you"

"I'm not a complicated guy, babe"

"I know…"

"Just spit it out"

"Fine but you asked for it. I want to be with you, no one else. How can I encourage you to try a relationship with me?"

"You want to be in a relationship with me?"

"Um, yeah..That's the point of what I just said"

As if my life wasn't insane enough and this moment wasn't nerve wracking enough, Ranger starts to sing…

"You think I'm gorgeous..You want to kiss me..You want to hug me…You want to love me..You want to smooch me…"

"Ranger, are you feeling well?"

"No..I spent the last three days with Julie watching Ms. Congeniality. Where did I go wrong? Doesn't she know bad asses don't watch that shit and then sing it with their kids?"

"No ranger, she doesn't because you're not bad ass to her. You're her daddy."

"Let's get back to the point. What do you want from me again?"

"Ranger, you damn well know what I want. Why are you torturing me to say it again?"

"Because you're so cute when you fidget"

"So….."

"Sew buttons on your underwear?"

"Dear God I have to have a talk with Julie about her visits with you."

"Yes, please! Do me that favor will you? And no, you can't do anything to encourage me to have a relationship with you, babe"

"Oh…well um…at least I gave it a shot"

I started to get out of the shower when I was suddenly picked up and tossed onto the bed.

"You don't have to do anything to encourage me because no encouragement is needed babe. I love you, plain and simple. Think you can handle me though? You know I have a kid that's making me sing freaking show tunes, right?"

"Yeah, I think that's going to be one of the things I love about you the most, Batman. You're a man of many facades and many talents…"

And with that, he spent hours upon hours showing me plenty of his talents which I hoped would happen for many nights to come well upon into our old age together.


End file.
